Friday, April 8, 2011

Grocery Store Blunder

Well it didn't take long for a story to present itself. It happened yesterday. I was completely embarrassed, it was a "wanna get away?" moment for sure. *Warning- This story contains poop*

This story took place in a grocery store. To tell it properly I will begin at home, before we took off for the store. Eli and I were having a normal day. He was playing with ALL of his toys and had them sprawled out across the whole downstairs of the house. He was spending a lot of his time in his Toy Story tent; he had a lot of his toys in there with him and kept telling me that he was "hiding". He can play and keep himself entertained for quite a while. I thought nothing of it. He came walking up to me after "hiding" for a while and said "stinky". Now let me just say this child of mine would be very happy to sit in his own filth all day long, he does not care when he has a mess in his pants, and would be happy if I never changed his underwear again. (He wears pull-ups we call them underwear). I guess it’s also important to tell you that we're in the midst of potty training. He has "peepee on the potty" pretty much mastered, but of course "poopoo on the potty" has thus far been..... a nightmare.
So need less to say I was very surprised that he came and told me that he was "stinky". I got closer, and the stench hit me like a slap in the face. It was horrid. It was beyond horrid it was unbearable. So unbearable that not even Eli wanted to be around it. 
I wont go into to details, but my kid had the runs. It was a mess. Joey got home a few hours after this. We both decided we were canceling all plans of going to bible study and running any errands that night. We didn't want to take the chance of a "blow out" while we weren't home.
Unfortunately we did have to go to the grocery store. One of those days you realize you have no milk, nothing to fix for dinner and I also had promised my parents I would do the grocery shopping. Either one of us or all three of us had to go. We hesitantly decided for all 3 of us to go, we wouldn't be gone long and we wanted to spend the time together.
While at the grocery store I would keep asking Joey, does he smell, is he stinky? Joey would tell me he didn't smell anything and we would move on to the next aisle. Towards the end of our shopping, while our cart was full, Eli suddenly said "POTTY!" At this point I was so paranoid that he was going to explode everywhere that I was maybe, slightly panicked. We had put the diaper bag in the cart when we had arrived to the store (when I say we, sometimes I just mean me, but I like to blame Joey also, so this is why I say we). So by this time we had piled all of our groceries on top of the bag. I could barely see it under all the yogurts, ice cream, pull-ups, frozen dinners and etc. we had thrown on top of it. Joey had gotten Eli out of the cart; he was standing there holding on to his pants waiting for us to get our act together. Joey was hurrying to pull all of the groceries away so I could get to the diaper bag, I could see it, I could now get to the diaper bag! I quickly pulled the diaper bag up, Joey is still pushing everything to the side, Eli is still standing there watching us panic (and when I say us, I mean me), and out comes the diaper bag.... but not just the diaper bag, the cran-raspberry juice (it was buy one get one free by the way) came with it. As fast as I had pulled the diaper bag out, the juice came just as fast, and even faster to the ground.
Next thing I know, the juice top has broken off, juice has shot across the floor, and not only on the floor but a wave of it came straight for Eli, soaking his pants and shoes. I hurry to pick the juice jug up so it would stop spilling; Joey is running to tell the guy that puts all the fruit out that we've (I've) made a mess. I look at Eli he's still standing in the same spot, starring at me, still holding on to his pants, just starring at me (covered in juice). I'm not sure if it was a look of shock or amazement or horror but he's just looking at me with a blank stare. I look over at Joey and he's standing next to the fruit guy, pointing at me from across the store. Fruit guy yells "Larry, clean up in the meat department. Larry cleanup."
A lady shopper walks buy us and says "Wow". I look down at Eli; he is over the shock and is now starting to jump in the puddle of juice. I pick him up, get the diaper bag and start for the bathroom. And has anyone ever noticed that grocery store bathrooms are always the hardest to find?
Eli and I finally get to the bathroom. I get a new pair of underwear out, I get a bunch of wipes ready, and I look in his pants. No poop. I looked at Eli and said to him, "I thought you said you went poop." And he said "potty", and points to the toilet. All he needed to do was go pee, no explosion, no emergency, no cause for a catastrophe in the grocery, we (I) freaked out for nothing.
P.s- Joey called me while we were in the bathroom, and informed me he was hiding in the frozen food section and would meet us there when we were done.   

6 comments:

  1. I was wondering when the first story would pop up! Ha!

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  2. this is hilarious i laughed with kellen the whole. im sorry it happened but you have to admit it was funny. love the blog

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  3. hahaha Jamie!! HILARIOUS!! I did not expect that ending at all! This blog is going to be fun for me!

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  4. Hey Jamiekins, love the stories and am looking forward to more. Can I put myself out there for teasing???....It hurts my eyes to read that light color text...just saying!!

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  5. I'm glad you all are now able to get enjoyment out of my embarresment (and I don't mean that sarcastically). That is the one good thing that comes out of an embaressing moment, a great story!

    Jenny, I will consider changing the text color for my readers with "older eyes" ;)

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  6. Hahahahahahahahahaha! Thats adorable!

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